The 1-Hour A Day Side Hustle Podcast

179: The Truth About Consistency No One Tells Working Moms

• Sharon Singh Sidhu • Episode 179

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If you’ve ever felt guilty for not being consistent enough in your business this episode is for you.

As working moms, our version of consistency looks nothing like what business gurus preach. We’re juggling full-time jobs, caregiving, school runs, and career responsibilities. We can’t stay online for an hour after every post or leave 100 comments a day.

This episode is an honest conversation about:

  • Why every small step you take still counts as progress
  • The difference between consistency vs frequency
  • How to design a business rhythm that fits your real life (job, kids, exhaustion and all)
  • How to stop beating yourself up when you can’t keep up with 'expert advice'
  • My Lunch Hour / Early Morning business model - creating, engaging, resting
  • The question that changed everything: 'If this were easy, what would it look like?'

Links mentioned:

SPEAKER_00:

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. So today I am talking about the topic around consistency and what consistency means to working moms compared to people who might be growing their business full-time. Uh, you know, not the primary caregiver and primary earner for the family. So I wanted to come today to share with you a little bit about what's been happening for me, also within the past week in terms of showing up for my business. So the key point I wanted to make today is just to remind you that every single small step that you're making for your business in terms of whatever you're doing, it is creating, it is actually you making progress, right? And so to keep going, remember to just keep going and keep iterating to suit the season of life you're in because the strategy that works best for you is the one that you can keep up with, you know, um, regardless of whatever the experts are saying. Because I know, like I know, at least on LinkedIn, I um come across a lot of um gurus and experts who tell you exactly how you you need like exactly what you need to do if you want to grow on LinkedIn, right? For example, there are all these like very tactical things that they'll tell you to do, such as you need to maybe um log into LinkedIn 10 minutes before you post, uh put your post and publish your post, and then you need to be on there 10 minutes before you need to engage with other people's comments, and then you post, and then after that, you need to stay on for another hour to kind of respond to comments. And I've tried all of that. Oh, the other one that I hear a lot about is how you need to be on LinkedIn, you know, and leave hundred comments a day, and this is how you work the algorithm to help your post and your content be seen. And I've tried all of those things, I never really quite reach a hundred comments a day because that would just I just don't have the kind of time to be on LinkedIn 24-7 to do that. Um, and so I just wanted to like share with you my experience trying to uh apply these so-called expert tactics and strategies and how they didn't work for me and how I modified it, um, you know, of course, through trial and error and looking uh at what works for me and what doesn't, and also importantly how I feel about it, right? Because if you show up on whatever platform you're on, because you have this obligation to, you feel this duty, obligation to, because there's a fear somehow that if you don't, something bad will happen, you're not gonna grow, the algorithm's not gonna work for you, you're never gonna make it, then you're going to bring that sort of energy and vibe to everything you do. You know, you are probably not gonna be conscious of it, but what you say online is going to be, you know, it's gonna be kind of filtered through this lens. How you respond and engage with people, it's also gonna be filtered through this vibe in this lens, and so I don't um I found that that hasn't really worked for me. So instead, I I just wanted to share with you my own process and how I came to this process because again, I'm not like standing here telling you that this is the best process for you or this is the best strategy for you. I want to give you my approach of how I arrived at what's best for me so that you can take this method and um try it out for yourself so that you can arrive at what would work best for you, okay? Because I think that all of us have such unique situations, we'll all have many things that are going on in our lives, and it is about finding a way that works for you. So I'm I think there's better or greater value in um sharing with you a process that can help you get to whatever works best for you. So I'm gonna share this in terms of the past week, what's been happening. So, you know, I think if you maybe have been following me or you're following my journey, you know that I recently started a new job, and you know, by recent I mean probably in the last three months. I've been in this new job now for the past three months, and so initially the first couple of months, um, I would say the first month was still kind of honeymoon period, right? Like not really much. Then second and third month, a lot of things started kicking in, and there were a lot of things that were happening. Um, and it was honestly quite an adjustment for me because not only was it a new job, but it was going back to a um doing work that I I had kind of stopped doing for almost 10 years, right? So I'm in HR, and so there's this scope of work that's called HR business partnering, and that was something I consciously and intentionally decided to leave behind almost 10 years ago to really focus on this other area of HR called talent development, which is um an area that I kind of fell into and discovered that not only was I good at it, but I actually really love it. And so, with this new role, um that portion of the work, the talent development work that I actually really love and I'm really good at and comes easily and naturally to me, was scoped down to a very, very insignificant, I would say, portion of my work. And I'm gonna I'm gonna go later on into the details around why I decided to make this move, but anyway, my point being that you know, the over this adjustment period, uh, the last week was really again very busy because of the nature of the work now, that I really it really takes a lot of a mental and emotional energy from me, and uh I hardly had time to really work on my business, right? And so you know, again, if you're following me, that I'm growing this business on the side of a full-time job, and that means that my business building time is primarily during my lunch break, a little bit in the mornings, and um, I've tried doing it at night, but that hasn't really worked for me. So, I'm gonna talk a little bit about how this whole approach and process I came to discover what works for me best, and so but the past week, you know, I really didn't have a lot of time to dedicate to building my business. Um, meaning to say, I didn't have my usual like lunchtime to be able to engage on LinkedIn or to work on this uh program, this product that I've been thinking about doing. Uh, you know, I have been also been kind of like pondering on how best I can help you in a way that is, first of all, is um accessible for you and me. Meaning to say, with my limited time, I've found that I can only offer maybe at most two to three one-on-one sessions per week with clients, uh, given everything that's on my plate. And so when I worked out the financials of building a um, you know, financially sustainable model, I don't feel that's gonna really help me hit my revenue goals that I have set for myself, and so I needed to figure out a different way, a way that would still be engaging for you, that would still be worthwhile for you and also valuable to you, and really create the results and impact for you, but also in a way that's sustainable for me, because when I try to scale up more clients, I just feel myself getting really exhausted and burnt out, and I don't like that feeling because I know that's not going to be sustainable for me, and I also have experienced that it doesn't help me to um show up as kind of the kind of mother and wife that I want to be when I'm with my family, right? Because if I'm always grouchy and impatient and frustrated and tired all the time when I'm around my family, I'm not gonna be very pleasant to be around, and I personally just don't like feeling that way, is you know, I mean, it's just not a feeling of well-being for me. And so I have been wanting to create this product, and so anyway, the past week, you know, I've got the whole thing mapped out in terms of the framework. Now it's just getting down to actually writing out the content and then you know, recording the videos and doing all these things, so then I can then share it with the world, right? And I had no time to do any of that last week, and so you know, as I was going through that week, the past week, you know, I just felt like I was so behind, you know. I was like so behind schedule, there were so many things I had planned, I wanted to do, and I couldn't get to it. And so I started really like judging myself for it and saying really mean things to myself, like in my head, and I think sometimes we do that to ourselves so much more than we would ever do to anyone. The stuff the stuff we say to ourselves is so mean. Like I was saying things to myself, like, oh, you know, this is why your business is never gonna make the money you want. This is the reason why you're so behind. This is the reason why other people so and so are making it. And look at them, they've got so many people in their program, and then you are still where you are, and so it was so self-defeating, right? And um, but luckily, you know, I have been practicing my meditation and being self-aware for almost like over a decade now, and so I caught myself. I'm like, okay, look, that's not actually very empowering, and that's not gonna be very helpful. And do you really want to continue like thinking this way and being in this energy and this vibe? Is that really gonna help you to overcome the challenge, get through this, and grow the business that you want to grow, right? And and then be the kind of person you want to be. And so I said, Nope, that's not what I want. And so the lesson for me was reframing that and changing the wordings, the way I was talking to myself, and reminding myself that I am doing the best that I can in the season of life I'm in, and the season of life I'm in right now is that yes, that the fact is I am working a job, it's a decision I made because I want to provide a certain lifestyle for my family, and being in the corporate world is kind of the easiest, fastest way for me to do that. Uh, and I also decided to leave the job I had before consciously, intentionally, with after much thought and deliberation and weighing up all the options. Yes, including stepping away from work that I really love doing and stepping into work that I'm not so hot about now. But it was a very clear intentional decision because the bigger picture was that I was leaving a workplace that was going through many changes, and whose like you know, the the business model wasn't something that I was totally aligning with anymore in terms of how they wanted to grow the business. Um, versus this new place, I was really behind the philosophy and the vision overall of the company, and that was really why I wanted to come in and be part of it. Um, and also in terms of the team, the boss, and and the vibe and everything was really more than outweighed the fact that okay, the part of the job that I really love doing before is gonna be a little bit lesser than in this current role than before, and that I would have to take on some of the other bits that I had previously said, you know, I maybe want to step away from that. And so I weighed everything, and that's why I made the decision I made. And and so it's kind of like this is what it means to really own your decisions, right? And then then kind of like, um, what is that word I'm looking for? Like, I mean, like live with the consequences of your decision, right? And do the best you can in the situation and season of life that you're in. And so I looked at all of that, I'm like, okay, so that's I'm I'm very clear where I am now and why and what the priority is. And I chose to be here, right? I mean, I it is my decision, I'm taking full ownership of it. Um, and so what then I thought about and reminded myself again and again and again, especially if you're a working mom, or even if you're a woman who's got like caregiving responsibilities, you know, those things can be a lot, right? And so I want to just remind myself and remind you that if you're building a business on the side of all of these other like parts of life, right? We we all have real lives, right? Um, to remind yourself that you are building your business and to do it in a way that works for you means that for me, it what it looks like for me now is to build it in the pockets of time that I do have, which means they are my early mornings. I start my mornings very early at 4:30 in the morning, and then I will do a little bit, you know, in the morning before we gotta get ready and then you know drop the kids off and then get myself to work and all of that. And also the other pocket of time I have is my lunch break, and then in the evening, sometimes, right? Um, if I'm up for it, I will. If I have calls to do, then I will do that. And so I asked myself this question was it Tim Ferris? I heard someone like Pat Flynn or someone who said that you know, asking yourself this question, if it were easy, what would it look like? And I think that's a very useful question to ask ourselves. Sometimes we get get caught up, so it's good to interrupt that mental loop that we might be in, thinking like, oh, we need to do this, we we should do this, and we must do this because the experts say so. Just stop yourself and just ask yourself, like, if this were easy, what would it look like? And so for me, easy looks like this, right? So in the morning, I wake up at 4 30 because there's like a couple of hours before I even start my day and step out of the house where it is time dedicated to my morning routine. I'm not saying that that's something you have to do, I just found that it's something that works for me, right? And so for me at 4 30, I would start off and I would have do my usual, I would work out, like I would do my yoga, I would do my weights and strengthening, um, and then I would do my meditation, I would do my journaling. And so very often I found that it was during this period of time, like when I'm journaling, that's really my content creation. This whole episode was a result of me journaling one morning, um, kind of reflecting upon the past week or the you know, when I don't feel the best, I actually like to just journal, right? And so journaling is my content creation process, it is already inbuilt into my daily routine, it's something I do anyway. Whether someone pays me or not, it's something I look forward to doing. I do it even on the weekends, and so I decided to reframe oh, my journaling is actually in the morning, it's my content creation time, and that's when I'm most like fresh and most creative. And that's also part of my content creation, would be also where then I would make the invitation for people to work with me, right? So I would turn my journal inputs like my journal entries into a few quick notes like this for a podcast, record the podcast, and then of course, at the end of every podcast or post that I put out, I would make the invitation if you're interested to work with me. If this is something that you want, if you feel I can help you, then you know, blah blah blah, you know, then then book a a a call with me, right? And so my mornings would be my content creation and invitations um to people to work with me. Then my lunchtime would be when I would deliver and engage, what I call deliver and engage. So deliver, meaning to say I do client calls, I do group calls. This is when I actually deliver, right, my services to help people, and to engage, meaning to say that's when I go on LinkedIn, and then I comment on people's posts, I respond to my DMs, I respond to people who commenting were commenting on my posts, and so I don't necessarily need to do the 10 minutes beforehand, and then you post and then stay there and do 100 comments, right? Because honestly, I only have less than an hour during my lunch hour after I actually grab a quick lunch. Um, I settle down and then I start commenting, I comment on other people's posts, and all of that, all of that just takes up the time already. And so what I do is of course my content would have been scheduled, right? Over the weekend would be when I would take the podcast like that and create like a bunch of content, and then I schedule it for the coming week that it goes live on LinkedIn around kind of around lunchtime, so that when people respond to the post, I can also comment. And sometimes the comments don't come in until two, three, four hours after, and that's when my evening kicks in, and that's when if I see a comment, I might actually respond to that, or if throughout the day I'm getting notifications that someone has said something on my post, I would just quickly read that and respond to them on the spot. And so these are like pockets of time, right? I don't have like dedicated time to sit at my desk and do this, right? So it's as and when, okay, and then in the evening, I have decided to not make myself be wrong for taking time to simply spend time with my family, go for my evening walks, have dinner with my family, and just watch TV for the rest of the evening. I know some experts say things like, Oh, you know, like you're wasting time watching Netflix when you could be building a business on the side, but hey, you know, I start my day at 4:30 in the morning. There's no way I've tried this in the evening when I try to like um even even commenting on LinkedIn, which is pretty engaging and interactive, I literally fall asleep at my laptop, right? About by 9:30 to 10, I am so tired. My brain is fried, and I don't have the energy to show up um in the best way that I want to. It's a very obligatory, like, oh, I need to do this because the experts say I need to do this, otherwise, my algorithm is not going to show my um profile or my impress is gonna affect my impressions, and people are not gonna know about me. I used to like guilt myself for all of these things, and now I realize you know what, that's not helpful, that just does not work for me. And so, my most productive time would be I make use of my morning journaling time, my content creation time, I make use of my lunch time to engage, and then my weekends are when I record podcasts like this. It's a Saturday morning. You can see it's very if you're on YouTube, um, you can see outside my window is bright and sunny, and it's like 8:30 in the morning, and I'm doing this before you know the all the family activities start, and and I'm in the right like energy, you know, to to come and give you the best of me rather than the dead, tired, like exhausted after work um version of me. I don't want you to um I don't want to bring that kind of energy right to people. And so very simple. So morning content creation and inviting people to work with me. Lunchtime is my deliver, get on calls and engage um and build relationships on LinkedIn, and then my evening is totally just my time to do my evening walks, to have you know spend time with the family, and then for myself to just watch my favorite Netflix series or whatever it is, and then sleep by 10. Um, I haven't been very successful with that. I've kind of been sleeping more like 11, so I want to work on that. I want to try to really get into bed and really um head to pillow by 10 and go to bed by 10. Now that's something that works for me. If you have a young child, I know it's not necessarily going to look like that for you, but that's the process, right? The process is simply actually reminding yourself that yeah, take what's useful from your experts that you follow because for sure they have, you know, like built up a successful business or whatever it is that you aspire, but make it work for yourself. Ask yourself if it were easy, what would it look like? Be aware and pay attention to when your energy is not the best and what feels right and good for you, and honor that, and then stop judging yourself when you're not able to keep up with what the experts tell you you should be doing. Okay, so I also like recently I was talking to a client, she was exhausted because she feels like she um she said, I have to show up consistently because that's what the experts say, and then so I asked, like, so if you don't, what's gonna happen, right? What happens if you don't? And I don't really remember getting a firm answer, except that this is what the experts say, but I'm guessing that underlying that sometimes we don't even know, right? What we don't even realize, but we're kind of like at the back of our mind, somehow thinking that if I didn't, then I wouldn't succeed, or like if if I if I'm not consistently being online or present, people are going to think that I'm not serious about what I'm doing, I'm just flaky, and I I show up when I feel like it, and then when I don't feel like it, I don't do it, or that you know, maybe sometimes I know that uh I definitely thought this. Like if I take a break and I don't show up, the algorithm's gonna punish me, um, my impressions are gonna go down. My you know, all of these like things that we look at on LinkedIn, the the analytics that we look at that's gonna be affected, and yeah, sometimes honestly, if I'm gonna be really honest, sometimes I see when there's a dip, I do feel it. It's like, oh no, I gotta like be online more, you know. And so um that these are the things that we think like you want to grow. This one also is for me. Like, I I really want a shot for my business, but I'm so so tired, I just want to sleep, and then I feel guilty for sleeping. But just drop all of that, right? Like, honor yourself, honor your energy, pay attention to what you are saying to yourself, what your body is trying to tell you, and then acknowledge like all the things that are on your plate, right? There's so much that you are actually handling, so even if you just left one comment, that's actually a small step forward, which is my point, right? Just every step you are taking is a step forward, it is progress. Because what's the point of you coming here and being exhausted? What's the point of you showing up, but then you are like showing up with such heaviness, right? People feel that even if you don't say it. And is that really what you want to do anyway? Didn't we all get into you know building this business because we uh have dreams of building a business that supports the life that we want, right? And so showing up this way, you are not really um building the life that you want if you are bringing all of that baggage and guilt and judgment and heaviness and exhaustion, right? And so what we want to do is just get creative and trust yourself to be able to figure out the best way that works for you. Um, and and then just to clarify one thing, because after all, I think sometimes we have this burden of like being consistent. Consistency, I always say is not frequency, it isn't consistency, does not mean frequency, i.e. daily, weekly, or whatever. So consistency is just a regularity, right? Like today I show up, but then like if I'm thinking about the past week, I probably showed up maybe three, four times a week on LinkedIn because I was just busy with other things, right? But I'm still here. My podcast is still coming out. Sometimes they come out on the day that it's supposed to come out, which I have kind of gone between Sunday and Monday, but sometimes it's a little bit late, but it still comes out, right? And some weeks I have actually not been able to do it, and that's alright, you know. Um, and I know there are people out there who talk about how oh, I haven't missed a single post in like I don't know, thousands of days, and then I've never missed a single podcast in like thousands of weeks, you know. But for me, that's not going to work. I know that's not what's going to work for me given my unique situation. So um remember consistency is not frequency, uh, consistency is regularity for you to just show up for your dreams, show up for the things that you want to do, your goals, and then work with your unique situation, work with your own unique energetic blueprint, right? We all have our own unique styles, energy, um, levels, you know, and personality, you know, in terms of how we want to show up. Like I'm only on LinkedIn and now I'm exploring YouTube. Although, as of this recording, I'm not sure yet if I'm gonna have had the chance to upload all my the videos I've been um recording, but uh just these two. I I try Instagram, Facebook, then well, I don't like it, and so just focus on the one platform at most, maybe two. Again, that's what works for me. Uh, if you want to go on all of it, I mean, and if you can, that's fine. For me, that's not going to work. I've I like to show up in the place that feels comfortable for me to show up in, and so that's how I prefer to do it. And um, yeah, so that's really what I have. So, just really in summary, I think if I'm going to summarize everything, probably two key points here, which is every small spat step that you're making is progress. Consider your own unique situation, and then the second thing is probably just to really trust yourself and honor the season of life you're in, ask yourself it if it were easy, how would it look like? And design something that works for you. Okay, so anyway, I hope this episode was useful for you. And if you're a corporate woman like me as well, and you want to start really sharing your ideas online, or maybe you want to build your own coaching business and sell your experience and expertise um outside of your job, but then you're scared of being seen, like who's watching, and then you don't know how to go about you know doing it, um, especially when you have a very full schedule and you really don't want to be exhausted and burnt out, then um book a power hour with me, and what we'll do over an hour is help you to clarify your message, like what you stand for, what your business is really about, you know, exactly how you want to talk about it in a way that feels natural for you. It's not weird and salesy or like you feel scared that you're being seen or exposed. Something that feels natural for you, so it's something that you can do and keep up with, and then yeah, so a simple content rhythm that fits your current life, whether it's with your job, your kids, exhaustion, all that. We don't want to do it in a way that burns you out. Um, and then put it all in a plan, right? A visibility plan where you feel that you can um show up online, especially if you're worried that your boss or HR or your colleagues or whoever might see you talk about your your side business, and also just generally knowing that you're not behind, right? The the kind of like building at your own pace for what works for you, then definitely that's something that I can help you with within that one hour. If that's something that you want, just go to this link carelandly.com forward slash Sharon Singh Siddu forward slash power hour. I know it's so long, I'm gonna put it on the podcast show description. If you're watching on YouTube, it's gonna be on the description. And otherwise, just go to LinkedIn, it's on my featured section, which is that little bit that's like when you scroll down past my you know my photo and headline and description. There's a section there, and there's a direct link that you can just click there and go. And so my LinkedIn um profile handle is just simply at Sharon Sing Sedu. Again, all of these are going to be in the links on the podcast description as well as the YouTube um description. Okay, I hope you have a lovely week ahead, and I'll catch you again next week. Bye.